


Is There Anyone Out There ('Cause it's Getting Harder and Harder to Breathe)?

by LovingCSFanfiction



Series: Swan Lips and Pirate Ships (CS One Shots) [4]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Minor Baelfire | Neal Cassidy/Emma Swan, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-19 05:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4733984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingCSFanfiction/pseuds/LovingCSFanfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not everyone finds a soul mate, but those lucky enough can see color. It’s not a terrible life if you never find a soul mate. You can still fall in love and live a happy and healthy life. You can still have a family and want nothing more than to have them be the last person you see at night and the first person in the morning. You can still have an unexplainable bond with them. Having a soul mate is just the little extra oomph to the relationship, and you don’t know the oomph if you’ve never had it. So, you’ll find someone you love and not know what’s missing, and everything will be okay. That is exactly what Emma Swan did when she married Neal Cassidy at 18, and exactly why it became a problem when she met her real soul mate, Killian Jones, 10 years later. CS Soul Mates AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is There Anyone Out There ('Cause it's Getting Harder and Harder to Breathe)?

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be a 7,000 word one-shot, but I didn’t like how it was turning out. So I decided to make it just a short little ficlet for the part I liked. Enjoy!

She went out on a girl’s night one particular evening, needing a drink to feel the emptiness in her heart. She used Mary Margaret and Ruby as an excuse, knowing Neal would never deny her a night out with her friends.

Ruby, as always, was scoping out the bar for men. She never found her soul mate, and she said always she was just going to “have fun” until she met him –  _if_  she ever met him.

Ruby leaned forward and pointed to the back corner of the bar, purring in interest and making Emma roll her eyes. Emma took another sip of her drink before following her friend’s gaze to the man in the corner, talking to a petite blonde and laughing.

Emma stilled when she realized who was standing there, and the jealousy that ripped through her body was physically hurting her. She knew it was irrational – she was married, and they had no chance of being together – but she couldn’t help looking at the woman and wishing it was  _her_  he was talking to.

Emma drank the rest of her martini and excused herself to the bathroom, asking Ruby and Mary Margaret to order another one for her while she was gone. She already had two, and the alcohol was working wonders, but now that she saw Killian, it felt like she hadn’t even had a drop.

Her friends agreed as she left, and she had every intention of going to the bathroom until she could calm herself down. But, instead of going there, she found her way to Killian’s side and grabbed his hand.

Just as he was about to object to someone grabbing him, she forced him into the hallway at the back corner, looking around to make sure no one could see them.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed, staring into his eyes.

(His beautiful,  _blue_  eyes.)

“Just out for a pint with some coworkers, but the night has suddenly become much more interesting.” He took a small step forward, and Emma could now  _smell_  him, practically taste his scent. “Tell me, Emma, why do you think we keep running into each other?”

“Who was that blonde you were with?” Her voice was breathless and, shaking her head out of her daze, she took a step back.

“Blonde, such a lovely hair  _color_ , don’t you think?” he asked, reaching his hand forward and running his fingers through her hair. “That was the Lady Tink. The more pressing question, though, is why do you care who I talk to?”

“I don’t!” Emma defended, a little too quickly. “I mean, I…”

Killian leaned in, and Emma thought he was going to kiss her. But, he went for her ear, instead. “Are you jealous, Mrs. Cassidy?”

“No!”

“Ah, that’s the difference between you and me.” Killian leaned back. “I was quite jealous when I saw you talking to your  _husband_ , I must say. Do you know the pain of seeing your soul mate, knowing you can never be with them because they hastily married someone before they met their true love?”

“It wasn’t a hasty decision!” She said, and when she noticed her voice wasn’t at all convincing, she added, “I  _love_  him.”

(She knew that she hadn’t sounded any more convincing the second time.)

“Be that as it may, it doesn’t make me feel any better.” He took a step away from her. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get back to the woman I’ve met for the night.”

Emma stomped her foot. “Why are you being so infuriating?” She asked, throwing her arms across her chest.

“You don’t get to do that, Emma. You don’t get to have it both ways.” And, if Emma were being honest with herself, she would admit that he was right. But the buzz of the alcohol plus the feelings of emptiness and jealousy were clouding her judgement. “You don’t get to stop me from trying to live my life when you get to live yours.”

“I don’t  _get_  to live mine, Killian!  _You_  are all I think about!” She yelled, slamming her hand over her mouth when she realized what she just admitted.

Killian’s head snapped back at her words, his voice suddenly lifeless. “Like I said, it’s disappointing you married someone before you met your soul mate, isn’t it?” With that, he started to walk away, his head held down as his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides.

She wasn’t sure what was happening when she marched over to him, or when she put her hand on his shoulder to turn him around, or when she grabbed the lapels of his black jacket to bring him to her face, to  _kiss_  him.

(And she knew it was the worst decision in the world, because kissing him was one of the best feelings in the world, and now that she felt his lips on her own, she knew she couldn’t stop.)

He pulled back, blinking a few times. She could see his mind whirling, trying to figure out why she did that, what she was thinking, and she didn’t have a logical reason.

So she kissed him again, cupping his face and running her fingers through his hair. He pulled her closer, one had on her back and one resting on the back of her head. He turned his head just slightly to deepen the kiss, the change in angle making her moan into his mouth.

  Maybe it was the alcohol clouding her judgment – she’d never know. But, in that moment, all  _she_  knew was that this was never going to be a one-time-thing, because it felt too good to have him that close to her.

His hands were on her sides and his on his shoulders when her back pocket buzzed. She (reluctantly) pulled back from him and slid her hand to grab her phone. Taking it out, she saw Mary Margaret had texted her, “Are you okay?” and suddenly, Emma knew she had been out here with Killian a bit longer than she should be.

She looked back into his eyes. “I should go.”

His face fell, but nodded.

They stood staring at each other before she dropped her eyes and backed up from him. “Don’t follow me. Go get a drink from the bar, or something.”

She could have sworn that, as she was walking away, she heard him mumble, “As you wish.”


End file.
